Sometimes, working in a bar proves to me the utter bloody stupidity of most people. Take last Saturday; busy night as per usual. An older woman asks for 2 double OVDs and coke, which is duly dispensed. The woman sips her drink. Then a look of disgust crosses her face.
"This isn't OVD!" she fairly screeches across the bar.
"Yes, it is."
"IT IS NOT! I've been drinking it for years (and constantly, by the looks of it you old hag) and this is definitely not OVD!"
"You just watched me take it out of the OVD bottle."
"You've put some other rum in there!"
"Are you seriously suggesting that I bought inferior rum than bloody OVD and filled up the bottle with it?"
"Yes!"
"Leave the pub. Now."
Yes, we're passing off paint thinner and food colouring as OVD. That's exactly what we're doing. And you, madam, with your abnormally acute tastebuds, are the only one who has worked it out. WELL DONE! Now go crawling back to your hovel in Torry and keep injecting the smack.