So. Almost a year since my brother took his own life.

Hmm.

I don't know how to be me without him.

He defined me in so many ways. I was "McBey's Sister" for all of my life. Now it's like I'm nothing. Nothing without him defining me. Is that wrong? Can I live my life being defined by other people? I don't know. All I know is that I miss him every day. Without question. Without remorse. With love.

Is that selfish? should I still wish him here in a world that made it so clear it didn't want him? He was my brother. My rock when things went shitty. I will always miss you Andrew, no matter what life throws at me. xx